I can finally say that physically, mentally, spiritually I practice self-love at a minimum healthy level which is a huge accomplishment. I used to ignore my eating, ignore my physical aches and pains, ignore my stress or try to drown it with something that would make it feel better, and just kept trudging through life as if simply putting one foot in front of the other in spite all all the garbage I was carrying showed society or myself how tough or strong I was. Being tough/strong isn't the point! And it caught up to me.
I've learned to be purposeful with my eating - making sure that what I put in my body is fuel and not food. That means my meals actually give my body what it needs to be sustained in a healthy way rather than a pleasureful way. That's not to say I don't experience pleasure. It means that now instead of getting the quick fix pleasure on my tongue, I get the deep pleasure of feeling great each day!
I've learned to be purposeful with my movement - I do strength training each day. I don't simply jump around to get my heart rate up. I challenge my body to become stronger each day because without challenge there is no growth. I grow my strength each day.
I've learned to be purposeful with my sleep - making sure I get at least 7 1/2 hours of sleep on most nights. When I have to go beneath that, I make sure and go above it on another day. Sleep is part of taking care of our body. While we sleep our brains have these other cells that enlarge so they can carry away all the guck from our brain's daily stresses and use. It's kind of like having your brain cleaned each night. I try to sleep on a 90 minute cycle so I either get 6 hours, 7 1/2 hours, or 9 hours of sleep as those are the times that my brain is nearing its normal wake cycle.
I've learned to be purposeful with my self-talk/inner voice - that means I'm nice to myself which is a practice in both mental and spiritual health. I used to be harsh with myself treating my successes as nothing/normal and treating my failures as if it was a reflection of my inherent lack of worth. I see that those were very unhealthy voices to carry around with me. I wouldn't treat my children whom I loved that way so why treat myself that way? Do I not love myself? Part of loving ourselves is treating ourselves nicely. When I succeed, even in a small way, I say "good job" and I smile at myself. When I make a mistake, I say "it's ok, no biggie, it happens, try again" and I give myself an invisible hug.
Practicing all these great things made me feel very accomplished. I've come a long way. I thought I had arrived...lol. But alas there is more to self-love. Another part of loving myself needs to come in the form of following my calling.
I have felt called to write about my experiences, my thoughts, my stories -- what I've learned in life. At the same time, I'm such a perfectionist that I feel sometimes that if I can't do something justice, then I'm not going to do it until I can be assured success with it...and then I delve into the definitions of all that.
- Do something justice - what does this mean exactly, is there a "standard" somewhere that I have to meet, set by whom, where does this come from?
- Assured success - huh? Who in the world has this? No one is ever assured success with anything.
Why I allow that type of thinking to stop me from moving forward is still something I work on. Part of how I work on it is by defining my terms because I always find something I'm defining from a severely subjective and unnecessary standpoint. Simply defining it is usually enough to get me over the hump.
I feel called to write and share with others my stories and experiences. In order to love myself, I must follow that calling. This is where my blog was born.
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